No, really!

Just two days ago, my wonderful wife, Julia, and I bought a car.

Thanks as much to a hiccup in communication as anything, I fell under the impression that she had in mind a coupe instead of a sedan (a two-door rather than four-door), and there was also a bit of confusion about color and the type of transmission.

We worked it out easily, at least some of the process taking place in the presence of the car salesman (to his mild amusement), and we bought a nice little Honda Civic.

I proceeded to post a blog entry which was formulaic in that it stretched the truth ever so slightly in order to paint a picture of Julia as bully, and me as victim. I thought the way I wrote it was cute, but I have to admit it was not exactly the truth.

To her credit, Julia did not get mad at all, but did raise the question: did I really want a more-sporty car? And, if that was the case, why did I give in so easily when she raised the concerns she had about the usability of a coupe vs. a four-door design?

I pleaded guilty to engineering a plot solely for the benefit of a story to tell in my blog, and I also acknowledged that she was right on the practical points. We really needed this car to be accessible for four or five people, not the pain that a coupe causes when that many people need to be transported.

So, why am I telling this story here? It's simple: a very important lesson to be learned if you plan to have a successful relationship will involve both admitting when you make a mistake, and offering gentle questioning when you know your partner has erred.

If you cannot give it up for your partner when you are wrong, you need to spend some time considering how to grow into a more mature person. If you cannot be gentle with your partner when he or she has made a mistake and you need to help them see it...yep, you, too, need to visit the Maturation Clinic and grow up some.

Here's a key point: right and wrong are far, far less important than are closeness and intimacy. Tell your ego to take a hike sometimes so you can grow closer to your mate. Save the right-vs-wrong contest for trivia bowls!