Where to start?

There are many friends I have come to know, particularly over the past five weeks, who I only know by their typed words which I have read on their blogs.

It is striking that some of the most intelligent, attractive, and fun women I have met are single and not necessarily loving it. These are people who are powerfully living their lives and not bemoaning their fate at all, don't get me wrong in that regard. In fact, some are completely at peace with being alone or raising a child or children by themselves. On the other hand, I don't think most would turn down the chance to meet someone compatible who could become more than just a friend. Maybe not today, because some of these amazing women (I’m sure there are guys out there in the same position, I just have not met them) are intentionally taking a break from the relationship arena to refresh their intimacy and knowledge of their own inner life and soul, or to determine what path they want to walk next in their lives.

In building this blog, Julia and I will focus a great deal on the dynamics of relationship and how understanding these dynamics can make life so much easier for couples and for the other people in their lives. That doesn't mean, though, that we won't also be writing about how to get to the point that there is a relationship in the first place. That’s my topic this morning.

In the early posts of our own story, Julia makes mention of the fact that she was unavailable for any kind of relationship for about eight years right in the early prime of her adult life. It was a conscious decision she reached after experiencing a pattern of finding men, but only ones with other attachments which made them unavailable.

Literally the day before we met, she opened her arms to love and declared to the universe her willingness to try again.

We have come to believe that this is very much a Law of Attraction kind of action. For those of you unfamiliar, the Law of Attraction is fairly simple to describe: what you put out to the universe is drawn to you as if by a powerful magnet. If you exude kindness and have a gentle nature, you will find people around you who are kind and gentle. If you are crabby with the world all the time, you will find yourself in traffic jams, helped by rude customer service people, and generally living a life designed by your crabbiness to enforce it.

Of course, one can discuss the Law of Attraction and its applications for years--Jerry and Esther Hicks have been doing so for close to 25 years now, and there is no end in sight to their Abraham seminars. Julia teaches it, particularly in her "Raise Your Frequency" talks and forum. So, while the explanation is enough for the purposes of this post, this is a topic rich with information to be mined. If you have not already, find a resource you are attracted to and resonate with, and learn more.

If the Law of Attraction is so simple to describe, at least at the rudimentary level, why do so many of us find it hard to use what we know? That's a much tougher question to answer, but the short version is, we simply are not able to get out of our own way to allow what we dream, the space to come into our lives.

We're all too busy trying to force things to be the way we want them--that's a critical word, 'want'--instead of doing what works, which is to feel the emotion you know you will experience when you have whatever you are busily driving away by coveting it. If you can broadcast to the universe, "I love living my life exactly as it is, and I have everything I could ever desire, including...[insert your dream here]" then you will find your desires practically falling out of the sky in their rush to match the frequency you are broadcasting on.

What we do instead is to send out the message that we're lonely, have low self esteem, and don't feel worthy of meeting someone who would be the perfect match for us. The universe, just as it always does, returns to us exactly what we are claiming: more opportunities to feel lonely, more chances to see ourselves as being unworthy, and people who have similar personal issues coming into our lives. There's a powerful reason why people seem to attract the same mismatches into their lives over and over. They are causing it to happen!

Here's a key part of breaking out of this pattern. Practice allowing. It is so easy to do that we find it very difficult. Practice sending out your message that you love having your desires met with perfection, and then get the heck out of the way. Let go of the string so that energetic message can fly wherever it needs to fly to do its job. Allow the universe to do its part of the manifesting process.

We tend to get all caught up in how our desires could possibly be fulfilled, and that's not where we need to focus. The universe, Spirit, God-in-me, whatever you choose to call it, is responsible for lining everything up so it falls into place. That cannot happen, though, if we are busily getting in the way!

What Julia did ten years ago is a great example. She had spent years denying the universe any opportunity to create and bring to her a partner, yet when she opened her heart and said, with full conviction, "Okay...I'm ready now" the universe brought me into her life in less than one day.

From my side of it, I had spent years denying my own worthiness and suffering because of it. For me, it was about two years of gradually learning to value myself before I was ready to be the answer to Julia's call. After those two years of preparation (and I only call it that in retrospect--I had not the slightest clue about the adventure I was about to become part of), it took Julia and me a matter of only a few weeks to come to grips with what we were for each other.

To the heart of the matter, if you are ready to have a partner enter your life, then announce it loud and clear! Stand with your arms open, and tell the universe that NOW is the time, and you are ready to meet this person. Then, let it go. Don’t peek around every corner, wondering if that’s the person right there, walking up the sidewalk. Instead, go on with your life. Live it fully, do what you love, and let things unfold for you naturally. Feel the comfort in your bones that you have done the only thing necessary to make this happen for you. Continue to put out the call that you are fully prepared for love, and allow it to come to you. The joy that such a call brings is exactly the frequency the universe recognizes, and responds to.

If you are inspired to go to places where you have the chance to meet single people who might fit the bill, go for it! The secret is, don’t force it. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself in places where it is easy to meet people, as long as you are not giving off a vibe of the hunter or huntress. Again, inspiration can guide you. Be you, do what you are inspired to do, and let the magic unfold on your behalf. Julia is very adamant that allowing is not the same as lazily expecting miracles while you sit idly by and let life go on without you. Not at all! But your actions should be inspired ones, not flailing about without any purpose. If you feel a boost in energy when you consider going to a church potluck or out to the friendly neighborhood watering hole with a buddy, that’s your cue. Inspired action comes complete with motivation and energy to accomplish the action already built-in!

If you have thoughts or comments, please feel free to add them. We intend this to be a community, and it will be one where we learn right along with the folks like you who stop by.

Love,
Rick