Here is the latest installment of the now-ten-year-old story of how Julia and I found each other and became a couple. For those of you who are new to our blog, please note that the earlier parts of the story are in the earliest posts to the blog. The parts are numbered so you can read them in sequence if you wish.
----(Julia's story)
Now that the way was made clear for us to be together from the standpoint of no relationship complications, I suddenly felt something entirely new to me: I had attracted a completely available man! And that meant I needed to be completely available to him! Yikes! That both exhilarated and terrified me at the same time. But by this point, I was so in love with Rick that I knew I'd do whatever it took to work through my fear.
The first obstacle that arose--if you can even call it that, based on my determination to plow through anything that might be in our way-- was location. I was in North Carolina, and he was in Colorado. But there was no doubt where we'd need to be if we were going to bring this relationship into 3-D, real life. Because Rick had young children in Denver (at the time, the four girls were 5, 7, 9, and 11 respectively), and because I would not possibly stand for him being an absentee dad, nor would he, I would be moving to Colorado.
For some, the chance to move to Colorado would have been a dream-come-true...but not for me. Unlike so many folks I knew, I had never felt deeply called westward. I had never been prone to romantic notions of the West, nor attracted by the supposedly more spiritual vibe present west of the Mississippi that I had heard much talk about. Yes--at one point, several years before, I had considered a possible move to Santa Fe because of it's arts community (at the time, I was very focused on my collage work), but was very torn at the idea of leaving the lush, verdant Southeast to live somewhere dry and brown. My longing was for somewhere even greener, even warmer, even more humid--I could feel the tropics calling. When I had an astro-locality reading around that time, the man reading my chart was very adamant that I would have way too many challenges in Santa Fe to be happy. In fact, he advised, I needed to stay away from that longitude altogether as my Pluto IC line ran right through it, connoting some place that would be highly transformative but in painful ways. Guess what other city is on my Pluto line? Yep. Denver. At the time, I had vowed to stay clear of it!
As my connection to Rick deepened before he had cut things off with "Susan," I had even rationalized the impossibility of us getting together and consoled myself about his unavailable status because of the Denver "problem." But there was another vow in place that superseded the declaration to avoid Denver and vicinity. I had long ago made a solemn pledge to Spirit that I would go wherever I was called to be, no matter what or where, as long as I was very clear it was my God-Self guiding me there. (This was before I had overcome the notion that spiritual sacrifice was a necessity!) And I was definitely feeling the call to Denver.
So, in my mind, choosing to be with Rick meant choosing to live in Denver. Now, remember--we had never seen each other in person before, but we had already entered so deeply into the space called "Us," there wasn't much question about continuing to follow the energy. As I pondered these things, one thing became clear: I had no choice. Okay--I had a choice, techically speaking, but according to my heart, I had no choice at all. Thus, I composed the following email to Rick:
======================================================
There is something important that I want you to know...I am not telling you this in order to push the river, only that you will know what is going on with me. Do you remember the following melodramatic pronouncement cut and pasted from an October 28 message?
======
"I want to tell you something which helps me come to terms with the
parameters of our relationship. Yes, there's your committment to Susan.
But there is also something in the back of my mind that adds to my
understanding that our being more than friends at a distance is probably
not destined to be. You live in Colorado. You have children who are
important to you who live in Colorado. I have, at least at this time,
next to zero interest in living in Colorado! My aim is to be in warm
places--tropical would be nice--and the thought of living somewhere
where there are blizzards in October and more in May, sounds like a
recipe for terminal depression to me! So if we ever got together, we'd
have to have the kids and their mother move wherever we were! Since that
sounds a little impossible, and since you are in love with and have
plans with S, I know I'd better forget about any possibilities
other than the one we are exploring now. Love and friendship at a
distance! (See how adept my mind is at finding ways to assure my heart
of what can be, what cannot?)"
======
Well, just so you'll know, I would rather be in a blizzard and warm with you than in the blazing hot sun on the beach anywhere, without you. Because that would be much colder. No more artificial barriers. Just so you'll know.
======================================================
Recognizing that Rick and Denver were a package deal, and most likely my destiny, it was time to set up a trip to Denver to meet my destiny face-to-face. And so, I began to research deals on airline tickets.
----(Rick's story)
Just as Julia mentions, there is both exhilaration and big-time fear that strikes when you are no longer pushing against anything! It reminds me a lot of being in a tug-o-war and having the other side suddenly let go of the rope.
My own feelings at that time were mostly about how we could make this dream a reality. It was funny that, as we both spoke of it being time to be in the same room, finally, we got off the phone and *both* began looking for flights.
I never even considered that Julia would want to come to Denver, although it is certainly logical that she would--as she says, this is where we would be living for a number of years.
But, doesn't the guy make the first trip? I thought so, and so did Julia's dad!
Both of us got a big surprise when she announced the grand plan, and she was flying to Denver.
This time between when my earlier relationship ended and when Julia's flight pulled up to the gate in Denver was excruciating. In fact, the gap in time between each of our trips was too painful to be believed!
We simply ached when we were not together. We ached before we had ever been together, but it was only worse once we spent a few days with each other.
I won't go further than Julia went in this chapter, so I better stop now. I will, though, end with an email quoted from November of 1997. Our comments are interspersed, with the person speaking noted at the beginning of each section:
-----
J: So, so much to say--so, so little energy to say it! There are a few
things I can say that GIVE me much more energy than it requires to say
them. The first is, I am so very, very thankful to have found you. I
spend a part of every moment thanking God for this miracle--this
miracle, not only of US, but of YOU. You are truly a miracle to me.
R: I will treasure this email as long as I have sense enough to know
'treasure'. You, my love, GIVE care, and I take it with a grateful and
loving heart.
J: The next energizing thing I can say is, THANK YOU for being who you are.
R: Thank you, dear Julia, for KNOWING who I am.
J: And one more thing. I love you more than I will ever in a million years
have the words to say. But you know that.
R: And I know I will spend every moment, at some level, appreciating and
honoring you. You are, to me, all that I can be, all that I want to be,
and all that I AM.
J: In the morning, I will need to deliver Meals on Wheels so I have got to
try to get some sleep. I will email you whenever possible--its just if I
don't get one off to you before I leave, you know I am sending you
cosmic emails aplenty on the wavelength. And, of course, I will send you
one immediately upon my return.
R: Hug somebody for me. I'll be there when you do.
J: Good night, good night.
Your woman
R: Whenever you doubt yourself, I am here.
Whatever it takes, just ask.
Always, my woman... ALWAYS, right now...
I am your man.
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